The Color of Heart is Black

I'm losing track of how many days passed since mom passed away. It's still surreal. Like she's on vacation and would come home anytime. I really don't wanna talk about my feeling, I don't want people to analyze me with seven stages of grief. I don't want awkward sympathy or hugs. I've not buried myself at work so I don't feel. But every time it's hurt. More than ever. And every time it's sad, sadder than never.
The only two people I love more than my life are ma and lil sis. The reason for my money madness. My life purpose to give them an easy life. To never feel pain like I did. To never see the dark side of humans. Not because they're fragile, but because I need them to be happy.
Once I heard a saying, 'Don't ask for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulder'. And I believe that Allah knows how far my strength is. But sometimes there were nights when I cry myself to sleep. Life without ma feels hollow. Of course, I don't …

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