Hard Pills to Swallow

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  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...
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Midnight Doctor 9.0

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'Good day, how are you lately?' The good doctor always welcoming me with bright smile. I wonder if in the doctor's life sun shines everyday.
'I have questions.'
'Always in hurry.' Now the doctor laughs.
'You're in a good mood.'
'And you're not?'
'Not really. I've never been in a good mood for long. Something always ready to switch it off.'
'Ah, what's that?'
'Mostly my own mind.'
'You said you've questions?'
'Yes. I've been thinking that im unable to love.'
'Why is that?'
'I have this guy i fancy. I miss him right away when he's about to left. I dream my future with him. But i dont feel thrill when he's around.
'I think i dont deserve him. He's so humble yet dedicated. You know that term 'work hard'? He does that literally.'
'Again with 'dont deserve' thing?'
'I know i make you bored.'
'No, Shin. But why? Why do you see yourself that low?'
Oh, again with that question.
'I've seen you couple times nailed every forums, discussions, photosession, turnaments, you're so bright and able to achieve something.
'But still you see yourself so little. You told me this, Shin, nobody cares about anybody but themself. Now tell me, what's make you despise yourself?'
'You wanna find out if the factor is from inside or outside?'
'Yes.'
'No. Maybe i should give up. Nobody wants me.'