Read This When You Want To Give Up

on
 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti
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Pretend you don't exist

on
"I Don't Want To Get Over You"

I don't want to get over you
I guess I could take a sleeping pill
And sleep at will
And not have to go through
What I go through
I guess I should take Prozac, right?
And just smile all night
At somebody new
Somebody not too bright
But sweet and kind
Who would try to get you off my mind
I could leave this agony behind
Which is just what I'd do
If I wanted to
But I don't want to get over you

'Cause I don't want to get over love
I could listen to my therapist
Pretend you don't exist
And not have to dream of
What I dream of
I could listen to all my friends
And go out again
And pretend it's enough
Or I could make a career of being blue
I could dress in black and read Camus
Smoke clove cigarettes and drink vermouth
Like I was seventeen
That would be a scream
But I don't want to get over you 
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