Hard Pills to Swallow

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  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...
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lluvia #14

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Tears never means that u re weak.
Laksana hujan yang bergemuruh. Membiarkan awan menumpahkan muatannya.
Saya memutuskan pergi. Bukan karena tak punya nyali. Atau bosan berharap sendiri. Apalagi karena caci maki orang orang dengki.
Saya memutuskan pergi. Anggaplah mengejar mimpi. Anggaplah memuaskan keinginan hati. Yang pasti waktu saya sudah terhenti di sini.
Banyak yang berkeluh kesah ketika hujan menyapa. Banyak yang merasa tertawan dari dunianya. Dan pelangi tidak lantas menyambut begitu hujan reda. Banyak pula yang menentang hujan. Berlari sambil merutuki di bawahnya. Tidak rela waktunya terbuang percuma.
Saya memilih duduk menatapi hujan. Mendengarkan ia menyampaikan pesan: istirahatlah sejenak, dari dunia yang membuat penat. Dari dirinya yang tak pernah melihat.
Saya sedih, that kind of sadness when u have to let go something to pursue ur dream.
Tuan, saya rindu.

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