Hard Pills to Swallow

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  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...
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Day Off

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There's always be one day in a month that I feel paralyzed. Like this day. I just don't want to do anything. Not even watching tv. But, writing is my catch. And my brain couldn't stop thinking. The only thing that won't work today is my heart.

Like I told u before, and before before, I always have things to be done. 2 articles for my freelance assignment, editorial meeting, get some properties for another prewed photoshoot, and prepare my next trip. Instead of doing those to-do list, here I am. Sitting on a couch in the park. With a bottle of orange juice, just finished biking around.

U might think I'm lazy, what I wanna say is: there's no point in forcing urself to something because u'd most likely have to do it over again after the initial screw up. I know, after couple hours sun bathing, I'll be able to do my task. For now, aaah, lemme enjoy sun, wind, orange juice, books and blog. Then I'll go to theater and get myself movies marathon.

Sunshine, sunshine, sunshine.

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