Read This When You Want To Give Up

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 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti
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where am I?

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see that sign behind me? mau nitip hash brown?
Good morning, it's Monday already. Sekali lagi, gue tau kalau ada beberapa artikel yang manggil-manggil untuk gue garap. Tapi gue lagi ngerasa bosen banget duduk di meja kerja gue di kantor. Jadi, walaupun gue datang sebelum jam 9 seperti hari-hari biasanya, gue nggak masuk kantor. Udah absen sih, udah bikin jadwal mobil juga. Udah nyetor duit ke bank di sebelah kantor. Udah makan nasi pake pecel.

Udah lengkap nih persiapan gue buat mulai kerja. And instead of my desk, i prefer this convenience store near my office. So, if you REALLY need me, feel free to see me at 711.

Ciao,
Shinta, wetoriya yeoja.

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