Coffee and Contemplation - 1

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  It was a pleasant evening, and I always order a Japanese iced filter whenever I spend time at this particular slow bar in Jakarta. As I sipped my 50k-something coffee, my mind began to contemplate the passage of time. Ten years ago, I only paid 18k for the same menu item, the same beans. I understand how inflation works, and I know that coffee crops depend heavily on nature to thrive. Yet, as I sat there, I realized how drastically prices have skyrocketed over the last decade—not just for coffee, but for everything. Even though my salary has increased fourfold in that time, I still feel as though my buying power has weakened. It wasn't just the price of the beans that bothered me; it was the realization that the cost of living is quietly eroding everything I’ve worked for. I won't go into the weeds of government mismanagement, but it reminded me of a scene in The Trial of the Chicago 7 , where Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character asks Sacha Baron Cohen’s about his contempt for hi...
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What You Think You Know About Broken Heart

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You know the story. A boy met girl, chased her, loved her, ignored her, and they broke up. I've been in that same old story, but always failed to see when did it went wrong. Was that I was that him, was that the timing or we're actually just playing. I never knew until now. The last time he called was to invite me to his wedding, 5 years after I weeping over him for chasing me for no reason, and leaving me when I was madly in love with him.

 I wasn't ready. I was only twenty.

 I never am the pretty girl, but boys frequently asking me out. Even I wear my heart on my sleeve, I knew we're only flirting. Whoever falls in love first, lose.

 Love is addictive. Lovers fail to aware that they've become a junkie. Sometimes it never the person, it was the chemistry in your brain telling your body to crave for your partner. That's when you need a fix.

 Until one of them decides they wanna quit. You'd think the one who calls it quit wasn't hurt, but they did. In breaking up, both parties would be hurt. Sometimes it hurts a lot that you running back to your partner. Little we know, it never the person, the love is gone, but habits, who can change their habits in a blink of an eye?

 I'm the one who calls it quit, 2 weeks ago. After one month contemplation, after years of wrongdoing. Because his sorry never meant that you regret your action, it's only lip service to make yourself feel better.

 I'm the one who left. Still, I'm crying blood, weeping for him. My heart's aching, brain's numbing. Tears flooding. I was screaming.

 And I'm looking at him. He was fine. Like the boy from my twenties. The boys were fine. Why?

 When I was disastrous, why they are fine? How they still can playing basketball, pouring some good coffee, picking their guitars, how can they do that?

 At first, those questions came out in an angry manner. Like 'I can't believe you're doing fine after our separation. Am I a joke to you?'. Then a depress call, 'Was I ever loved by you?' (yes it a song, don't sing it). A realization came last. That's their way to fix their broken heart. By numbing their senses.

 I know a guy who shattered when his girl left him. I know a guy who drinks to die when his girl left him. I know a guy who becomes a complete nutball. All because of the break-up.

 I know the theory. I know the drill. Still, I'm a broken heart.

 I told him twice, I don't want him back. My heart understands. The brain has its own way to cope. We hurt each other. I kill his love for me. All excuses were only excuses. I was in love and be loved. It's over now.

 Whoever stays in love last, lose.

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