Read This When You Want To Give Up

 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti

Korean Soothing Songs


I'm a slightly big fan of KPOP, from Big Bang to Ikon. From Wonder Girls to Twice. From FT Island to N Flying. But, when it comes to healing a heartbreak, this KPOP songs wont help much. Just because I'm busy fangirling than healing. Like I spent more time to enjoy their wardrobe and choreography. Give a little damn about the music.

Since lately I have to live with a broken heart, this playlist will do me justice. Their soothing tunes and whispering voice calm my nerve. Calling tears I have been hold since forever. And their messages, well, you have to give it a try. I know some of you belittle Korean music and it's yours to choose. But, listening to one song wont do you any harm.

Remember to switch on subs whenever available. Music, start!

Zitten - Whale


My first founding on Zitten was when I work for NYLON Indonesia and often adjusting articles from NYLON all over the world. One of Zitten's song was using as a background music in NYLON Korea Photoshoot. It was a wet December, I tend to fall apart on December and Zitten's songs pulling me together.

Nam Taehyun - Hug Me


I was crying a river when NamTae leaves Winner. It's like I don't have any reason to listening to Winner's songs. I was waiting, waiting and waiting. Crazy but I feel NamTae's pain not much different with mine. So when finally NamTae's back with South Club, I have no other choice than to love him more.

OKDAL - You Did Well Today


OKDAL is a medicine I take for my severe insomnia. This Korean indie folk music gives me tickles and on the same time release my tense muscles. I also love how their lyrics is a simple thing everyone can relate with. Their calming tunes is a bonus.