Hard Pills to Swallow

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  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...
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Dear My Ten Years Old Self

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My ten years old self was a curious adventurer who trotted neighbourhood with her bicycle. Little she knows what future can bring. Her only fear was missing her favorite anime. And her dreams was bigger.

I was feeling down since last weekend and I need distraction. So I mindlessly asking people, what would they told their ten years old self if they can go time travel. Here's few answers I got.

Zaky Akbar: Beli Bitcoin. Atau, saham Gojek
Yusi Narulita: Apalin berapa utang puasa Ramadhan tiap tahunnya sejak pertama 'dapet'
Erlinda Alizar: Jangan lupa bawa payung sebelum hujan
Amelia Nurtiara: This world is cruel. Please beware ~ lol
Isnaini Fadilah: Jan cepet dewasa
My Eternal Crush: hi, saya dirimu 21 tahun dari masa depan (He's so funny!)
Nurdin Latief: Jangan patah semangat. Konsisten. Jangan mudah menyerah
Rina Dwi Andriani: segera nikah dan kebut promil
Angeline Natalia: Don't grow up, it's a trap
Retno Prasetyani: jangan makan kebanyakan, biasain olahraga
Weni Kusuma: Belajar jd pengusaha muda aja. Dari kecil udah jiwa dagang wkwkwk
Titi Maria Ulfah: Jgn terlalu bnyak makan. Pertahankan 30kg mu haha
Nanda Imaniar: dont study too hard, its useless
Syarifah Sahnath Assiry: you'll be okay
Rizki Rahmat Ridha: Jagain ibu, dan dengerin kata ibu
Bobby Yasser: Focus belajar jgn kerja jgn ikutin mereka

I'm still feeling down. If I meet my ten years old self tonight, I will crying in her arms and she will understand that life is hard. She has to be prepared.

What yours?

Oh, nevermind. Not my business.