Read This When You Want To Give Up

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 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti
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TRIPL3 PLAY!: STAY

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I was drank too much coffee. My lips start to feel dry. A girl in front of me keep on talking. Same shit about love and life all over again.

Then she said: 'Love is a verb, right? You can't just say you love me, and do nothing about it, right?'

I really don't know. About love, whether it is a verb or a feeling. Or an energy, which make it could transform into every kind of things.

Love is a verb, right?

It's stuck in my head. Calling a memory, about a man who claim he loves me. But he only stay. Never hold me, never run for me. Even when I leave. He choose to stay still. Oh, Baby, stay is a passive word.