Read This When You Want To Give Up

 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti

Did Your Man Worth Your Relationship?

I am a normal girl with average experiences with relationship. Self experience is one thing, learn from other stories make me realize that most men are suck in terms of relationship.

What make men suck at relationship? Might it be girls are super difficult to understand? They are. But if you are dating for sometime and found she is still difficult, the problem lies in you, bro.

Let me say it plainly. Girls want to feel secure. Average girls won't feel it unless you marry her, sleep with her every nights and show her your love.

Most guys I know often say, 'I'm not good with relationship', when their times end. Man, no one ever good with relationship, it's like making someone else your priority. They don't have to fight for your attention because you are giving that to them.

Sometimes I found it funny and pitifull when men going astray and helpless because women they love. Funny, because they brought it to themself. Pity, because they are clueless.

I will write it once again. Makes your woman feel secure. You won't have to worry about anything else.

So what makes guys suck at relationship?

They are giving up on you.
Things can get nasty, and women are a being with 90% feelings. But some men choose to walk out when their women crying for help (and attention). Simply because they are not ready for feelings.

Their lack of effort.
This is what girls have in their mind when having a date. We want to spend time as long as possible with our man. So coming late is out of option.
Here is some list of things we have to do before date.
A. Applying face mask the night before
B. Wake up early and do mix and match
C. Take a long shower because we won't let any smell ruins your mood
D. Shave
E. More shave
F. Mix and match for the last time.
G. Research for make up style. Decide not apply any.
H. Planning a date. Where to go, what to eat
I. Have a perfect scenario of a day with you going smoothly.

What a guy do for a date: wash his face.

Sure I'm not the only one who wondering WHY MY BOYFRIEND DIDN'T TEXT ME FIRST LIKE BEFORE. Or, why did he stops wearing perfume. Or, why did he wore his shabby old jeans. Put your list here, girls.

They are clueless.
Girls, have you going tired with their question about where and what to eat?
A guy told me he let me to decide because he didnt know what I want to eat. And he wanna make sure that I get any food I want.
It's kinda cute at first date. But not when you are getting in a long relationship. Even an office boy in my office knew I would go for nasi padang if not for pasta.
Women are visioner. They'll already know how exactly their day going. But it wont hurt to planning a date, right? Do research for places to eat or what event is happening.

They are taking you for granted.
At first, you are help him out of manners. Then, you help him because you love him. Next, you help him because he demands you to do so.

This is happen to me a lot with different guys. So, I have this silly way of life that I will pay for my own food. Along the way, I pay for every dates. It did no harm to my check balance, but, I hate this feeling of being used.

It's okay to help our love ones. Just remember not to spoil them. Especially if he constantly ask for things.

They act like alpha dogs.
Okay, we get it. You are an alpha and world is revolve around you. You don't need a girl and your life is rock 'n roll.
Well, you are not. And your next girl might be better than your last but still never be the same.
Just because women is over populate, doesn't mean you will get them without effort. So treat her well and don't be an arse.
Learn your manners. Open up to her. Do your chores.
Men, you are no better than women. We are equal. If you hurt a women, chance is a woman will hurt you next.

It's too tiring to make list of how men let us down. Even so, most women stay. Because it's our nature to take care our significant others. Therefore, our heart is stronger. But, even Batman has to retired.

Relationship is messy, it takes two person who willingly grow together. Saying you are bad at relationship is like giving up.