Borrowed Sorrow

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  Growing up, I spent most of my time alone. I spent it reading, playing pretend, writing short stories, dancing, and exploring. Of course, I had a crew: a bunch of busybody teenagers exploring the infinite possibilities of our hometown. When puberty hit, I fell in love with the idea of falling in love, but not the actual relationship part. I mostly read about romance in teen magazines and already felt exhausted by the obligations society threw at girls. Back in my day, being sad was a trend. I was there when the first emo punk bands debuted on MTV. I was there when Avril swapped her skateboard for a tutu. But personally, I was happy. So, I borrowed sorrow from pop culture instead. I picked up my brother’s beat-up guitar and learned to play the most heart-numbing songs. I was an emo girl. The quiet kind you could only discover by reading my notes or scrolling through my playlist. I am a middle-aged woman now. What was once a borrowed sorrow has become the story of my life. Those c...
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Between This and That

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Gue seringkali berkata. Pada sesiapa yang datang bercerita. Bahwa hidup selalu tentang pilihan. Dan pilihan itu ada di tangan kita. Berikut konsekuensinya.

This is 2007 all over again. When there's a so appealing bad guy picking a heart play with me. And a decent young man asking my time sincerely. I got choices. But I enjoy spending days and nights with both of them.

This is 2007 all over again. When you found me alone and now we sort of together. While my heart goes toward you, my brain after somebody else. Yes, I miss him as well as I miss you.

He got everything you don't. You got everything he wants. Like two sides of coin. You and him. Dark and light. Trouble and ease. Double the fun.

You might know me well by now. I'm a total mess, hopeless romantic, kindda pervert, pure soul, heartless bitch, looking for fun. I can squezze your heart and eat it raw. I can kiss your soul to the death. I can hurt you and still in love with you.

You are so me.

But I keep him dearly beside me. Touch him like he's made from fragile glass. Kiss him like my life depends on it. Adore him like sunshine. He's raw on the edge but he choose the silver lining. He got his own sadness and choose to embrace it.

He is so me.

Here I am. Didn't know why you guys arrived in my life at the same time. Bring me fun. Tickling a crazy greedy bitch inside me. Get me drunk with your eyes. Make me want more. You and him.

Tidak memilih pun adalah sebuah pilihan. Dan konsekuensinya akan lebih menyakitkan.

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