I was scrolling my path timeline while lying sick in my bed. Last updates said 'lots of chocolate, lots of chocolate'. Christmas chocolate and new year chocolate. I ate like nonstop! Munching while working. Happy end year!
But, love too much will hurt much too. As soon as 2015 begins, i got sore throat. Thought it was mediocre i ignore it. Ate everything i want. Turn out, it was tonsillitis and while yesterday i had ate much, for this last seven days, i barely eating.
It's awfull. How it's hard to shallow even only pure water, and my tounge got stomatitis all over its edge. I ve been crying a lot. Said 'why me, god? what ve i done? please stop this. forgive me. what sins got this pay off?'
I went to three different doctor. Mum treat me like baby. I couldnt eat save for porridge. I hate porridge, and now it's the only thing i could eat.
My mind wandering. My tounge, did i use it to hurt people with my words? Oh yes. I love mocking people, show them what a funny person they are. And my diet, maybe because i often had leftover. Never care if i finish my food or not, if i dont like it, then i wont finish it. If im too sad to eat, then i wont finish it.
Is that why i pay those attitude this way? On a late night, when i tired crying, i put word in my arm: patience. I never have that, seems god wants me to learn it. Oh god, my time is limited, patience is luxury.
So be it, you ve start your new year with fireworks, i started it with drugs work. Cant wait to get well, to back to fucking living, to earn fucking money -to living, (crap i swear again, hope my thumb will be okay).
Im sick being sick. And honey, how we never be grateful for something we have until it's taken away? Oh god, it's a long day in bed. Im bored.