Coffee and Contemplation - 2

on
  Sejak 2012, gue berulang kali mau nabung dollar. Tapi gue urungkan. Bukan karena ngga yakin dollar bakal naik. Justru karena gue yakin dollar pasti naik terhadap nilai tukar rupiah. Dan gue kepikir, kalau dollar naik, pasti berdampak pada ekonomi negara. Ekonomi orang-orang di sekitar gue. Bukan karena mereka pake dollar. Tapi karena pada skala makro, pertukaran komoditi masih menggunakan dollar. Dan mau ngga mau, melihat harga dollar yang tinggi, komoditas dalam negri pasti melirik pasar luar. Namanya juga bisnis, maunya untung. Didasari pemikiran kalau nabung dollar berasa ngga nasionalis, dan berbahagia di atas kesulitan sodara sebangsa dan setanah air, maka gue memilih invest di saham-saham plat merah. Tujuannya selain untuk investasi juga berkontribusi terhadap usaha milik bangsa. Namun lagi lagi. Ngga di mana-mana, cinta gue selalu bertepuk sebelah tangan. Relationship, karir, berwarganegara, pada akhirnya, pemikiran dan tindakan gue yang dilandaskan perhatian, kasih sayang...
0

Sweet ends when bitter starts

on

I was scrolling my path timeline while lying sick in my bed. Last updates said 'lots of chocolate, lots of chocolate'. Christmas chocolate and new year chocolate. I ate like nonstop! Munching while working. Happy end year!

But, love too much will hurt much too. As soon as 2015 begins, i got sore throat. Thought it was mediocre i ignore it. Ate everything i want. Turn out, it was tonsillitis and while yesterday i had ate much, for this last seven days, i barely eating.

It's awfull. How it's hard to shallow even only pure water, and my tounge got stomatitis all over its edge. I ve been crying a lot. Said 'why me, god? what ve i done? please stop this. forgive me. what sins got this pay off?'

I went to three different doctor. Mum treat me like baby. I couldnt eat save for porridge. I hate porridge, and now it's the only thing i could eat.

My mind wandering. My tounge, did i use it to hurt people with my words? Oh yes. I love mocking people, show them what a funny person they are. And my diet, maybe because i often had leftover. Never care if i finish my food or not, if i dont like it, then i wont finish it. If im too sad to eat, then i wont finish it.

Is that why i pay those attitude this way? On a late night, when i tired crying, i put word in my arm: patience. I never have that, seems god wants me to learn it. Oh god, my time is limited, patience is luxury.

So be it, you ve start your new year with fireworks, i started it with drugs work. Cant wait to get well, to back to fucking living, to earn fucking money -to living, (crap i swear again, hope my thumb will be okay).

Im sick being sick. And honey, how we never be grateful for something we have until it's taken away? Oh god, it's a long day in bed. Im bored.

Comments

Post a Comment