Coffee and Contemplation - 1

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  It was a pleasant evening, and I always order a Japanese iced filter whenever I spend time at this particular slow bar in Jakarta. As I sipped my 50k-something coffee, my mind began to contemplate the passage of time. Ten years ago, I only paid 18k for the same menu item, the same beans. I understand how inflation works, and I know that coffee crops depend heavily on nature to thrive. Yet, as I sat there, I realized how drastically prices have skyrocketed over the last decade—not just for coffee, but for everything. Even though my salary has increased fourfold in that time, I still feel as though my buying power has weakened. It wasn't just the price of the beans that bothered me; it was the realization that the cost of living is quietly eroding everything I’ve worked for. I won't go into the weeds of government mismanagement, but it reminded me of a scene in The Trial of the Chicago 7 , where Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character asks Sacha Baron Cohen’s about his contempt for hi...
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Midnight Doctor 8.0

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'Shin, are you okay?'
I open my eyes and see the doctor wearing worry face. I cant feel my body, only an ache in my chest.
'Shin?'
'What happen?'
'You jump from the bridge. Almost jump, then you passed. They brought you here and called me.'
'Im sorry.'
'Are you okay?'
'Im not okay. Im sorry. I tried to kill myself.'
'Seriously, Shin.'
'Something i havent told you, doc. I ve been tried to avoid razor, knife, bridge, highway traffic and medicines. All kind of way i can kill myself with. Im sorry, i lost control this afternoon.'
I feel so tired, now i can see my legs trembling. My mind's blank. I can remember how hard i tried to keep moving, and how miserable i wanna jump into highway traffic.
'Did i jumped?'
'No, you're collapse at the edge of the bridge. Shin, im so scared when got a phone call about you. You need to talk to your friends and family about your condition.'
'I cant. I wont be a cheerfull talk. Hello, i have tendencies to kill myself, will you look after me?'
'Tell them the truth. Everything. Your family at least.'
'I cant. It will makes them unhappy. Knowledge is burden. This, they dont know how to handle.'
'You dont have to be alone, Shin.'
'Yet i am alone. Thank you for coming for me, doc.'
'Why would you jump, Shin? What happen?'
What happen is i am tired. I keep imaging cutting my wrist. I imaging jump from the bridge into the highway traffic. I struggle to that everyday. Nobody would miss me. I am alone, am i?