Apa Kabar, Bo?

  Apa kabar, Bo? Kemarin saya ke Gramedia. Sanctuary saya pas jaman SD. Dulu waktu Hero Swalayan masih ada di Gatot Subroto. Biasanya saya ke sana setelah ngumpulin duit jajan seminggu dan bisa buat beli komik. Ngga seperti sekarang, dulu banyak komik yang sampul plastiknya terbuka, jadi saya puas-puasin baca sebelum akhirnya beli cuma satu.  Jaman itu majalah Bobo tidak setipis sekarang. Apalagi pas edisi khusus, tebalnya bisa ngalahin kamus. Hahaha, bercanda ya, Bo. Bobo benar-benar teman bermain dan belajar saya, ada beberapa dongeng dunia yang sampai detik ini saya masih ingat. Ada juga dongeng lokal yang jadi favorit saya. Mungkin penulis Bobo sudah lupa, ada sebuah cerpen, yang memuat cerita ibu petani yang asik bekerja hingga anaknya kelaparan. Saya ingat ada syairnya: tingting gelinting, perutku sudah genting, kelaparan mau makan. Saya kemudian meniru syair tersebut dan dimarahin Mama. Beliau bilang, ngga pantas didenger orang. Oh ya, Bo. Mama adalah orang yang berjasa...

Midnight Doctor 8.0

'Shin, are you okay?'
I open my eyes and see the doctor wearing worry face. I cant feel my body, only an ache in my chest.
'Shin?'
'What happen?'
'You jump from the bridge. Almost jump, then you passed. They brought you here and called me.'
'Im sorry.'
'Are you okay?'
'Im not okay. Im sorry. I tried to kill myself.'
'Seriously, Shin.'
'Something i havent told you, doc. I ve been tried to avoid razor, knife, bridge, highway traffic and medicines. All kind of way i can kill myself with. Im sorry, i lost control this afternoon.'
I feel so tired, now i can see my legs trembling. My mind's blank. I can remember how hard i tried to keep moving, and how miserable i wanna jump into highway traffic.
'Did i jumped?'
'No, you're collapse at the edge of the bridge. Shin, im so scared when got a phone call about you. You need to talk to your friends and family about your condition.'
'I cant. I wont be a cheerfull talk. Hello, i have tendencies to kill myself, will you look after me?'
'Tell them the truth. Everything. Your family at least.'
'I cant. It will makes them unhappy. Knowledge is burden. This, they dont know how to handle.'
'You dont have to be alone, Shin.'
'Yet i am alone. Thank you for coming for me, doc.'
'Why would you jump, Shin? What happen?'
What happen is i am tired. I keep imaging cutting my wrist. I imaging jump from the bridge into the highway traffic. I struggle to that everyday. Nobody would miss me. I am alone, am i?