Sabtu

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Saturday is supposed to be fun and the most awaited day of the week. Tapi semua berubah sejak negara api menyerang. Some time months before, gue anxious ketika Sabtu datang. Beda dengan orang-orang yang baru anxious menjelang Senin, dulu gue selalu seneng menjelang Senin karena berarti kerja lagi, Lalu, apa yang gue lakukan untuk membuat Sabtu kembali menyenangkan? Setelah berhasil mengumpulkan energi, Sabtu pertama gue menuruni air terjun. Apakah ini kegilaan atau memang gue sedang membutuhkan distraksi, tapi eksplorasi pertama ini seakan membangunkan gue dari koma panjang bertahun-tahun. Berhari-hari merasakan chest pain, gue kira, umur berhasil mengalahkan kesehatan gue dan mungkin gue juga punya penyakit jantung seperti mama? Pun ketika dibawa menuruni air terjun, nyeri di dada tidak terasa. Memang sudah lama gue curiga itu hanyalah psikosomatik. Efek di badan karena pikiran. Lantas ketika dibawa bertualang, rasa sakit itu justru hilang. Sayangnya efek adrenalin sirna beberapa hari
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Midnight Doctor 4.0

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'Hey doc, am i broken? I've cry a lot.'
'No, you're not. This is the other phase of your bi. You feeling tired, tears keep coming, and the thought, it's back, isnt?'
'Yes. Doc, why am i like this? Am i eat something wrong? Am i being cursed?'
'Dear, Shin. Dont look down on yourself. You're a lovely, cheerfull person. What you've got is temporary. And we both know you're tough.'
'I've been like this for ages. Im tired. One time i spend too much money, chasing some guys, another time im tired, cry whenever i awake, even imagine to cut my vein.'
'If only you want to take medicine...'
'Never. I dont trust it. What i have cant be solve with any drugs. It's a whole me is wrong. And the only medicine is that i have to vanish.'
'Shin! You change nothing with vanishing.'
'But one thing for sure, doc. I cant get hurt if im not exist.
'Doc, if i ended up cut my vein, would God forgive me? If turns out im not tough enough to live life, would God understand?'
'Shin, you're unwell. Please take your medicine and rest a bit. I promise you, you'll be alright.'
'I dont need medicine, doc. I dont wanna lose my control. Medicine will make me fall a sleep.'
This time, i talk a lot. I cant even remember what im talking about. That doctor gives me something and i feel misty clouding in my head.