Borrowed Sorrow

on
  Growing up, I spent most of my time alone. I spent it reading, playing pretend, writing short stories, dancing, and exploring. Of course, I had a crew: a bunch of busybody teenagers exploring the infinite possibilities of our hometown. When puberty hit, I fell in love with the idea of falling in love, but not the actual relationship part. I mostly read about romance in teen magazines and already felt exhausted by the obligations society threw at girls. Back in my day, being sad was a trend. I was there when the first emo punk bands debuted on MTV. I was there when Avril swapped her skateboard for a tutu. But personally, I was happy. So, I borrowed sorrow from pop culture instead. I picked up my brother’s beat-up guitar and learned to play the most heart-numbing songs. I was an emo girl. The quiet kind you could only discover by reading my notes or scrolling through my playlist. I am a middle-aged woman now. What was once a borrowed sorrow has become the story of my life. Those c...
0

Nothing Good Happen After 2 AM

on
It's nearly 2 am. And my eyes still wide open. No, actually, it's not my eyes who wanna awake. It's my brain who wont stop thinking. About some boys i hope, but nay. All my works occupied my brain's space!! Im calculating now. That magazine, this magazine, that independent regulatory organization, that under graduate thesis, this brand, that brand. Men, as if i have more than 24 hours a day. Pain.

It's my fault, since i cant blame anybody else, i just cant say NO, everytime work offers came. Mind you i just work in one magazine as fulltime employee. And it's never about the money. I've got this part in my life that i love challanges, as long as it's not engage me longer. So after one or two articles, im free and get fee.

I love to meet new people, hearing new ideas and try to execute it. Oh, im so a hardcore fan of learning. Still, i need to sleep. Dear brain, please shut down a while. But i cant! Im full with ideas and i need to write it. My oh my, when i write it, i cant stop. Seriously, i need to sleep!

I learn that the only way i can sleep tonight -or very early morning- is by shut down my netbook first. It just there's so many words in my brain, they screaming my pain, keep going, keep going type down line by line. They hear no pleas, they want things to be done. Again i beg, they wont get me free. They have an idea, an idea must be done.

Nothing good happen after 2 am. A bro told same story as his mother. I got this curse, to work when others snores. My work is a pain. They keep my brain spin.

No, actually whenever i pass my sleep hours, i tend to keep awake all night. The night is good, but tomorrow is brighter. Maybe, if i can finish that work, that work, that work, that work, before 2 am.

So be gone. The night is on.