soliloquy of solitude

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on April 17, 2014

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Accidentally encounter with Warpaint new mv. They gave it double.

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Solusi Sakit Maag Supaya Bisa Asik Ngopi Terus

Sebagai pemilik akun reviewer kedai kopi seduh manual, gue selalu mendapatkan pertanyaan: 'lu ngopi mulu nggak takut sakit maag?' yah, namanya juga doyan, ya mau gimana lagi. Lagian hari gini tuh udah ada solusi sakit maag yang terpercaya dan affordable . Plus, gue paham bener batas toleransi lambung gue jadi gue berenti ngopi sebelum asam lambung naik. Tapi, apa sih solusi sakit maag terpercaya itu? Buat gue, kopi itu spesial. Karena Papa selalu bilang kopi itu minuman orang dewasa. Kalau anak-anak minum kopi, bisa sakit perut. Pernah sekali gue maksa nyobain kopi punya Papa, dan terbukti gue sukses sakit maag. Emang ye, omongan orangtua mending jangan dilawan. Nah, dari taun ke taun, gue udah paham banget isi kotak obat di rumah. Selain obat merah, plester, minyak gosok, dan balsem, yang nggak boleh absen adalah Promag cair, solusi sakit maag paling manjur dan praktis buat gue. Fast forward ke 2013. Pertama kali icip kopi seduh manual, gue baru tau kalau rasa dalam k

Read This When You Want To Give Up

I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti

Breakup Withdrawal

" Love is addictive. Lovers fail to aware that they've become a junkie. Sometimes it never the person, it was the chemistry in your brain telling your body to crave for your partner. That's when you need a fix. " I still wake up at odd times. Only for different reasons. Lately, it because of the significant other. How my sleep is occupied with bizarre dreams about us. The fight, the romance, the way he used to look at me as if I was his sole purpose in life. Haven't eaten or sleep properly takes a toll on my health, both physically and mentally. I was afraid I might get a heart attack. Just now, I got a series of dreams of him hurting me. Telling all his friends that I was crazy. That I'm the one who was using him. That I'm possessive and demanding. Four or five dreams in a row and I wake up to a word: withdrawal. Several posts before, I wrote about how love is chemistry more than a feeling. It's all happening in our brain. It's exactly like drug

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