Hard Pills to Swallow

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  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...
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Plan Your Own Funeral

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Have you ever visualize your own wedding party? With gown, flower bucket and maids. When all your friends gather and talk about how lucky you are, how pretty you are in your dress, how lovely your spouse and how fairy your party. Have you? Well, I have.

I also happened envision my funeral. Weird? maybe. But once I read, the day of someone's death exceeds the value of the day of his birth. Because, people dont really know us when we born. Different story when we are dead. Since we ve been living through our life, met people, do something bad and good. Tell lies, being lied, loving and being loved. Until the day we have to say goodbye to mortal life.

 So I wondering, who will be at my funeral? I dont have much close friends, even the closest one dont really know me. I dont text my friend so often. I kept secret. And right now, I live a quite solitaire life (from my friends). So how can they know if I die? No, there is no family member feel close enough with my friends to have their phone number.

 If i die, what will people talking about me at my funeral? How are they remember me? Would they talk about how moody I was, how cynical I was, how they are being hurted by my words? I know I'm not a happy person at first. But I still sure I am a good friend.

 And my biggest question, what will happen with my sites and social media? I know some account which still producing tweets, even the real owner was dead. Their spouse running it for reminisce them. Well, I dont know, maybe I'll share my password with he I shared my life. But can anyone poduce sarcastic tweets like mine?

 At the end will you remember me?

"And remember, my sentimental friend, that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." Frank L. Baum.