Read This When You Want To Give Up

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 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti
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Ngabuburit at Market Bar

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Spaghetti Ebi-Tuna Rp 78.000
special mocktail for me: apple and passion fruit Rp 40.000
 
Nachos Rp 60.000
 
 
So it's settle. Wherever I go, I go for spaghetti and nachos and mocktail. And now, I'm like in love with Kota Kasablanka shopping centre. You will see me at this mall a lot! For this week I ve been went there three days in a row. Fortunately with different companions. One time, I look at this new restaurant, Market Bar. It have two branchs, one in Kemang Village, but some how I'm not excited with the one I see first in Kemang Village.
It was midday in Ramadan, but I had woman privilege, when I visited Marked Bar. If you look at last picture, you will see that I had choose a secluded seat. This place was new, yet their menu makes me craved. They have salmon, and ribs, and much much cakes for our sweet tooth. Quite pricey, I should say, and not much main course to choose. I tempted to tried their sandwiches, before my eyes set on pasta. And you know how my feeling for pasta.
Even when I go for pasta, I wanna try something different. That's when I met Spaghetti Ebi-Tuna. The pasta is okay before I swirl it well. Turns out, it's too salty. I think it's from the ebi, it taste so strong that I cant feel the taste of tuna.
Not much option for beverage too. Lucky me, the nice waiter offered a mocktail I could make myself. Since that noon sun shones brightly, I was asked him to mixed passion fruit together with apple. Sweet and sour, like life. About their nachos, what can I say? It was so-so.
After this, I think I'm gonna dwell a little more at Kota Kasablanka. See ya.