Read This When You Want To Give Up

 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti

Mengejar Lumba-Lumba di Teluk Kiluan


‘I was born under sign of fire,’ this is my template line everytime I got invitation to the beach. Or swimming pool. The truth is, I don’t like getting wet when in a fully clothes. Until I came to Kiluan Bay, a hidden escape in deep of Bandar Lampung.

With five travelers, I spend 6-8 hours from Bandar Lampung to Kiluan. The road was awful, I keep humming ‘I cant fight this feeling anymore’, by the feeling I mean a magnificent headache from the bumping car and lack of snack. Strongly recommend to stop by at Clara Beach, so you can enjoy the breezes of sunny beach while getting your feet straight. ‘we re not there yet,’ I remember the driver calling me and guys to continued your trip to Kiluan. I was whining, but then remember how beautiful Kiluan Bay can be.

An hour after lunch we arrived at Pak Solihin house, he is our cottage man. He and his family provide 4 cottage with two option: bathroom inside, or bathroom outside. The price different by Rp 100.000, we choose the one with bathroom inside. All gadgets were dying, I didn’t mind, my android was broken so I just brought not so smart BlackBerry. Electricity is a privilege in Kiluan, in our cottage alone, it’s only supply from 7PM until 4AM. Pak Solihin’s wife served us with common lunch, rice and soto ayam. We didn’t waste another time to finished it then snorkeling.

Dolphins will always be the main reason to visit Kiluan Bay. But we cant go hunting dolphins (picture) until next morning. We don’t have to stay at the dark cottage too, of course. A cross our cottage, there is Kiluan Island. The sands is white, the water is warm, not to mention its beautiful coral and fish inside it. Lets go snorkeling!! I was so exciting, this is my first snorkeling time. And I went to Sumatera Island for this super experience.

We don’t have to bring snorkel by ourself, after take us to the islands, our boat man hand us snorkels for Rp 25.000. They also provide guide to show us the true beauty of Kiluan Bay. I really want to tell you about my first snorkeling, although it was nothing but suffering. My legs hurt from coral stratches, I almost drowned while my friend thought I faking it. Still I saw glances of pretty fish, school fish, colorful coral, so it was worthed right?

The night at the cottage was fine. We all had a comfy sleep until the dawn. Im the first person to awake, as soon as alarm ringing. So ready for dolphins!! Every morning between 8AM-10AM, we have chances to see dolphins swimming and jumping in off coast not far from the bay. We can see dolphins all year round, although they are more plentiful in June to July. If you try to take their picture like I was, I suggest you to put glass housing for your DSLR. So that those big waves didn’t splash on your precious camera. In other boat my friend prefer video mode to capture the motion of dolphins.

Kiluan can be reached by car from Bandar Lampung. As soon as you reach Bakaheuni Harbor, local driver will offer you ride to Kiluan, Krakatau, Tanjung Setia and else. Before you make agreement with rental guy, please ensure that the driver and the vehicle are in good condition. And once you re in Kiluan, don’t throw your garbage at the water! Or everywhere around. We re here to love the nature, remember?