Hard Pills to Swallow

on
  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...
0

it's not you, it's me

on
Kalimat itu jamak terdengar saat ingin menyelesaikan hubungan. It's not you, it's me. Sebelum ini, gue menganggapnya kalimat omong kosong. Seperti halnya 'kita udah nggak cocok lagi' 'aku lagi kepingin semdiri'.
Kalau mau berpikiran terbuka, yah ini memang tentang pihak yang angkat bicara itu. Makanya, nggak seharusnya ada jawaban what did i do wrong? Karena memang nggak ada yang salah, hanya saja ada satu pihak dalam hubungan tersebut yang tidak lagi terpuaskan/merasa nyaman.
It's not you, it's me. Suatu hari di perguruan tinggi, gue nggak ngerti kenapa ada satu teman yang nggak suka sama anak baru. Padahal secara personal si anak baru ini bisa jadi teman yang baik. Padahal interaksi keduanya baru sebatas menyebutkan nama. Lalu gue bertanya pada teman yang bersikap memusuhi itu. Jawabannya adalah: nggak suka aja, kayaknya apa yang dia lakukan tuh salah banget di mata gue. Keberadaan dia aja udah salah.
Wow. Gue kebayang gimana misalnya si anak baru ini tried to please teman gue dan tetap aja dia gak disukai. Pasti bakal sakit hati. Untungnya si anak baru ini entah cuek atau bebal, gak terlihat ambil pusing. Sampai suatu ketika si anak baru bilang ke gue kalau dia sakit hati sama sikap si teman.
Manusia emang gitu. Sering kali bersikap seenaknya. Banyak yang belum sadar kalau act-nya itu mempengaruhi hidup orang lain. Dan tindakan orang lain pun mempengaruhi dirinya. Karena, biarpun sendirian, manusia saling terkait satu sama lain.
So dont take things personally. Kita toh nggak bisa mendikte perasaan orang terhadap kita. This really isnt about you. This is about me, who can't get over you.
3 bulan di awal 2013 ini benar-benar teguran buat saya.
Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10