Hard Pills to Swallow

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  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...
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Coffee and Contemplation - 1

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It was a pleasant evening, and I always order a Japanese iced filter whenever I spend time at this particular slow bar in Jakarta. As I sipped my 50k-something coffee, my mind began to contemplate the passage of time.

Ten years ago, I only paid 18k for the same menu item, the same beans. I understand how inflation works, and I know that coffee crops depend heavily on nature to thrive. Yet, as I sat there, I realized how drastically prices have skyrocketed over the last decade—not just for coffee, but for everything. Even though my salary has increased fourfold in that time, I still feel as though my buying power has weakened.

It wasn't just the price of the beans that bothered me; it was the realization that the cost of living is quietly eroding everything I’ve worked for. I won't go into the weeds of government mismanagement, but it reminded me of a scene in The Trial of the Chicago 7, where Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character asks Sacha Baron Cohen’s about his contempt for his government. His answer echoed mine.

No, I don't hate this city or this country. But I feel like I'm in a one-sided relationship. Whenever I earn my salary and pay my taxes, it feels like that money just disappears into a vacuum of corruption. I don't pay "mega-taxes," but that’s the problem—I’m not poor enough to qualify for subsidies, nor am I rich enough to access tax loopholes.

I’ve worked hard, climbed the corporate ladder, and brought home a good income, yet I feel like I’m always one paycheck away from sliding backward. Without a real safety net, it’s hard not to feel that the government has a certain contempt for the middle class—the very people trying to keep this country running.

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