Hard Pills to Swallow

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  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...
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you know i adore you

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Seharian ini dengerin album Matchbox Twenty dari yang pertama sampe terbaru. Satu lagu ini stuck in my head.
Aslinya, sedetik setelah kejadian kemarin, gue punya satu nama yang ingin langsung gue telepon dan bercerita. Ingatan bahwa dia gak ingin mengangkat telepon gue mencegah gue menekan tombol dial. Saya dan dia sudah selesai. Dia dan kepalsuannya, saya dan kenaifan saya, tak pernah ada kami.
Sejak detik gue nggak jadi menekan tombol dial, ada rasa rindu menyelisip dan bertahan hingga kini.
Saya kangen sama fans mas Jared itu.
Saya berulang kali bilang selamat tinggal. Sesungguhnya yang tetap tinggal adalah rasa saya, apapun wujudnya. Saya gak ingin melepaskan dia.
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