Read This When You Want To Give Up

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 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti
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Menjelajah Baluran Dalam Sehari

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Ini udah di-posting sebelum masuk tahun 2013 seharusnya. Apa daya baru terlaksana sekarang. Lets say gue kemarin-kemarin sedang sibuk membenahi diri setelah meninggalkan comfort zone that wont lead you anywhere. Lantas seperti ketika masuk sekolah baru, gue harus beradaptasi dan menyesuaikan orientasi. Lantas setelah adjusment 3 bulan ini, gue digoda tawaran baru. Pilih mana? Entahlah. Mana yang gajinya lebih gede? Hahaha.
Jadilah Desember tahun lalu gue berangkat dadakan ke Baluran, gantiin temen yang berhalangan. Total-total, karena gue gak suka jajan, abis kurang dari 500 ribu rupiah. Ah, ini pun karena tiket pesawat gue dibayarin mantan teman sebangku. 


















 semua foto diambil di dalam kawasan Baluran.