Read This When You Want To Give Up

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 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti
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2PM is Back, Again. And Again.

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Nah, jadi mereka datang lagi. Setelah BB live dan Hands Up Asia Tour, besok Taec dkk bakal manggung lagi di MEIS dalam konser What Time Is It.
Banyak terdengar kabar kalau konser ini dipaksakan karena kasus Khunnie. Benar atau tidaknya saya malas cari tau. Jujur saya sedikit kesal mereka kembali lagi tanpa didahului single atau album baru. Apalagi project solo Uyong dan Jun-K nggak terlalu fantastik. Saya cuma khawatir, mereka nggak dapat sambutan meriah di sini seperti kali sebelumnya. Tau kan hukum Break Even Point? Saya sendiri udah lumayan kesel ngeliat tingkah Kpop Geek karbitan. Orang-orang yang tadinya bego dan nggak tau siapa itu JYJ, kemudian sekarang grasak grusuk cari tau semua perkembangan Kpop. Kemane aje, mpok?
Sebenernya bagus juga 2PM bikin konser lagi. Tapi sebagai fans posesif saya tetap nggak rela mereka bulak balik ke Jakarta kayak Maroon 5. Jangan sampe ujung ujungnya jadi ngajar bahasa Inggris seperti Keith Martin.

Saya udah lama punya kecurigaan kalau korean idol dipekerjakan secara berlebihan. Dan kali ini saya melihatnya dari tampang ngantuk dan bosannya Uyong. Hello, come on, ini Uyong. The most hillarious man in packs. Pas round table, mood mereka masih membaik. Khunnie, lagi-lagi, sempat bertukar tawa dengan saya. Tampang mereka nggak sebaik itu pas prescon massal. Saya pengennya sih teriakin tukang foto di belakang saya dan bilang: gak usah pake blitz, woiii. Gak tega liat 2PM duduk nggak nyaman di panggung sambil menjawab pertanyaan yang itu-itu lagi.

Masih mau nyepele-in Kpop Idol? Well, dont.