Hard Pills to Swallow

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  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...
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lluvia #13

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Tak ada yang lebih indah daripada hujan. Saat ia mengetuk jendela mendahului matahari pagi.
Satu dua tiga rintik airnya memenuhi udara. Membangunkan ku dari mimpi.
Mimpi tentang mu. Masih tentang mu. Selalu tentang mu.
Hujan kembali menyadarkan ku. Kita tidak nyata. Kamu tidak untuk selamanya. Aku harusnya mengejar mimpi, bukan terikat padamu.
Sayang, aku cuma gadis yang jatuh cinta. Menutup mata atas benar salah. Mendengar hanya suara mu. Menatap hanya senyumanmu.
Apalah arti mimpi dan cita cita. Ketika kamu ada dihadapanku, bahagia.
Sisa air di dedaunan mengantar ku pada persimpangan. Bertahan karena kamu, atau pergi mengejar mimpi. Dua duanya meragukan.
Atau memang aku yang tidak bisa berdamai dengan kenyataan?
Pagi ini hujan. Aku masih rindu.

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