Hard Pills to Swallow

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  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...
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What did u do wrong?

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Once, a boy told me: 'kalau ada person in relationship, lalu dia cheating sama cewe/cowo yang single, yang harus disalahkan bukan si cewe/cowo single itu. Tapi mereka yang dalam in relationship. Kenapa mereka nggak bisa menjaga pasangan mereka?' Begitu katanya. Padahal cowo ini sedang in relationship.

Gue sendiri, setuju dengan ucapan: 'I'm single, I'm free to flirt'. And I think is legal to flirt with anyone. Oh, go on, girls, u can hate me.

But, sebelum lo mencerca cewe/cowo yang ngambil pasangan lo, liat dulu ke cermin. Pertanyaan pertama: what did I do wrong?; analisa. Apa yang salah dalam hubungan kalian, terlalu posesif, terlalu membosankan, nggak ada tujuan yang jelas, terlalu lama tapi beda agama? Analisa.

Kedua, inget-inget udah berapa banyak orang yang nyaranin kalian putus alih-alih menikah. Satu? Dua? Tiga? Siapa aja orang-orang itu? Kakak kandung? Bapak? Temen kerja yang baru kenal sebulan? Kalau orang luar aja bisa ngeliat hubungan lo kagak sehat, masa iya lo masih mau nutup mata?

Ketiga, did he/she deserve u? Udah berapa kali orang yang jadi pasangan lo, bikin lo nangis? Bikin lo feel insecure? Membatasi pergaulan lo, mengatur cara hidup hingga cara berpakaian lo? Gila, kawin aja belom, udah ribet ngatur-ngatur. Apalagi kalo udah kawin nanti? Pasangan yang baik itu, yang ikut berkembang bersama lo. Bukannya membatasi, atau memaksa lo melakukan hal yang lo lebih milih untuk nggak melakukannya.

Coba pikirin 3 hal itu dulu. Lalu, tentang cowo/cewe yang lo anggap ngambil pasangan lo, well, they re just blacksheep. Kalo hubungan lo emang udah rusak, dan salah satu pihak gak mau membenahi, putus yah putus aja. Keep in ur mind, secanggih apa pun orang lain ngegodain pasangan lo, kalau dia udah yakin sama elo, gak ada tuh ceritanya dia kegoda.

Ah yah, cerita gue lagi. I am sagittarian with O type blood. I'm flirt, I go for adventure, I do anything just for adrenaline rush. But, this is my rule: 'gue nggak akan menyakiti hati perempuan mana pun'.

Kata Panglima Tien Feng, begitulah cinta, deritanya tiada akhir. Hehehe.

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