Read This When You Want To Give Up

 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti

Morning Blog

Kalau orang-orang baca koran saban pagi, gue lebih memilih bacain blog orang-orang. Walaupun dengan resiko pengetahuan gue ngga bertambah. Hahaha. Here's some of them:

Wanderbites, food blog milik Fellexandro Ruby ini udah gue tongkrongin dari pertengahan 2010. Once I tweet about this awesome guy: I fall in love with the way u write. It's so captivated. Mercy heaven, walau gue adalah makhluk imaginer, Ruby berhasil tau eksistensi gue (halah).

Bon! Pictorial, sort of portfolio blog like mine, penulisnya Arman Yonathan adalah pemuda terunik yang gue sukai. Dia suka artis Thailand dibanding Korea, dia mendengarkan bossanova, swing dan lainnya yang gue nggak ngerti. Dia kebetulan kerja bareng gue di Gogirl! Jujur, dalam beberapa photoshoot gue suka nggak sependapat dengan dia. Dan dia suka nggak mau dengerin pendapat gue sebelum gue ngambek, hahaha.

My Kind of Person, gue mengetahui pemilik blog ini bernama Sadie. Gue suka bagaimana ia dengan lancar bercerita tentang segalanya. Semua mengalir sampai-sampai gue ngerasa ikut berada di dalam keseharian dia. Blog unik yang berfokus pada alas kaki dan memberi judul postingannya dengan angka.

Random Soliloquy, awalnya gue nemu blog milik Chekka ini pas terpaksa jadi fashion stylist di tempat kerja gue yang sebelumnya. Akhirnya Chekka punya fashion blog sendiri, misah dengan personal blognya. Tapi favorite gue tetep personal blognya ini. She writes about anything, dan gaya nulisnya yang konyol, lugas, kejam, sadis dll bikin gue menyeringai saat membacanya. Kami berbagi selera sarkas yang sama.

Gue baru banget men-deactive-kan Twitter gue. Sebagai gantinya, gue membuat ini. Dan walau gue tau itu adalah Tumblr, gue memperlakukannya layaknya ia adalah Twitter.

So, I just spent my every morning reading those blogs, wondering when will they have new posting. But, never bored scroll down to their oldest post. Keep Inspiring, guys.


Shinta, virtual stalker

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