Hard Pills to Swallow

  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...

Can you help me I'm bent?


Jaman sering nongkrongin MTv Fanatic, gue suka gak percaya kalau para fans bilang ‘your songs make me stay alive’. Berlebihan menurut gue. Pun demikian, gue punya beberapa lagu yang jadi soundtrack hidup gue. Dari sekian banyak itu, satu-satunya band yang gue puja sampe beli beberapa albumnya adalah Matchbox Twenty.
Awalnya gue ngeliat video klip Bent, di MTv, gue langsung suka sama gaya rambutnya Rob Thomas. Trus gue pantengin deh itu video, gue dengerin kata per kata. Back then, I was junior high school student. Akses informasi gue cuma tivi dan majalah. Untungnya, biar sempet disebut one hits wonder, banyak juga majalah yang bahas Matchbox Twenty ini. Apalagi pas Rob Thomas masuk sexy man alive versi majalah manaaa, gitu.
Gue beli-lah kaset Mad Season, yang memuat lagu Bent, tadi. Gue pelajari liriknya. Dan gue nangis. Well, my life is hard from beginning. Ngebaca lirik lagu-lagunya Matchbox Twenty, gue ngerasa related. Sejak itu, tiap kali life throws me hard time, gue pasang headphone dan muter lagu-lagu Matchbox Twenty.
Hari ini, seharian gue dengerin lagu-lagu mereka. Pelan-pelan, mood gue membaik. Setelah Bent, favorite gue adalah Unwell dan Push. Ah, gue suka semua lagunya sebenarnya. Apalagi lagu-lagu di Exile on Mainstream jadi soundtrack pas gue bikin skripsi.
Yourself or Someone Like You, 1996
Mad Season, 2002
More Than You Think You Are, 2002



Exile On Mainstream, 2007

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