Read This When You Want To Give Up

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 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti
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Coffee and Kisses: Agitation

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Agitation. 1) Stirring the coffee-water infusion increases the extraction rate of soluble solids. 
2) An emotional state of excitement or restlessness.

Her touch, wakes his feel.
Something he burried so deep.
His heart, start to flutters again.
She's the one it long to.

She's stirred his feeling.
Going back and forth.
Because she wants him.
But never need him.

He's the brightest whenever she's around.
She's having no nightmare inside his arms.
She always said.
It's only me.
Not you.
Never us.

He finally gives up.
His stirred heart's going cold.
Nothing left.
Not even his love.