Read This When You Want To Give Up

 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti

Hello, Boys!

Today I'm asking some friend in my contact list, 'sebutkan satu hal yang bikin lo ilfil sama cowo saat dia pdkt ke elo'. Here's what they said:

'Pemilihan kata di sms/bbm nya alay atau semi alay. Contoh: aq, ak, lgy, kmu, nieh, nyh. Atau bahkan tulisannya gede kecil' - Gita, Freelance MUA.

'ngerokok' - Latinka, Singer.

'Lebay. Terlalu ngintilin, terlalu nunjukin kalo naksir.' - Nadya, Reporter.

'Ketika dia ga ngesms atau ngebbm lagi. Pergi gitu aja. Dan ketika aku udh lupa dia nya nge bbm atau sms lagi.' - Regine, HS student.

'Cara penulisan sms/bbm!! Hahahahahha' - Rima, an Elf.

'Hmmmmmmm agresip' - Sari, civil worker.

'Kalo dia sombong dan suka pamer' - Naya, PR consultant.

Sebenernya masih ada lagi yang jawab. Tapi, jawaban di atas mewakili sebagian besar, kok. Well, sebenernya gue juga pengen tau, cowok-cowok itu sadar gak sih klo kelakuan mereka ini bikin cewek-cewek ilfil? Sayangnya, nggak ada yang bersedia menjawab.

Next post, gue akan tanya cowok-cowok pertanyaan serupa. Biar imbang.

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