Read This When You Want To Give Up

 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti

Malu bertanya? Google aja.

Dua hari belakangan ini, ada sekelompok orang yang bertanya pada saya, tentang sekelompok orang lainnya.
Karena bukan kapasitas gue untuk ngomong, gue bilang: 'tanya langsung ke mereka aja'. Hemat gue, kalau orang-orang ini emang bener-bener butuh untuk tau, mending dari sumbernya yang valid kan?

Lalu, bertanyalah gue kepada orang yang suka bergosip.

Shinta: Saya nggak ngerti sama org2. Knp mereka lebih milih nanya org lain drpd ke sumbernya lgs. Atau klo sungkan atau enggan, yah gak usah ambil pusing. Sesimple: bukan urusan gue juga
Nmfb: Soalnya lebih enak ngomongin orang dan dibecandain drpd ngetahuuin fakta. Lebih seru. Buat bahan obrolan aja. Ngegossip kan lebih enak drpd nerima fakta. Klo udah dapet fakta ngga bisa buat bahan obrolan dan becandaan lagi.
Shinta: Berarti sistemnya yg korup yah. Mudah2an saya nggak ikutan korup.
Nmfb: Amin

Once wiseman said, banyak orang yang bertanya karena penasaran, cuma sedikit yang bertanya karena peduli.

Gue? Gue nggak peduli, makanya nggak nanya.

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