Hard Pills to Swallow

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  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...
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Fairy Old Parents

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Gue memang selalu bilang. Live for yourself. Namun ada beberapa saat lo harus hidup demi orang lain. Demi orang tua lo.

Saat sekolah.
Saat bekerja.
Saat menikah.

Karena kalau lo gak sekolah, lo nyusahin orang tua lo.
Kalau lo gak kerja, lo nyusahin orang tua lo.
Kalau lo gak nikah, lo nyusahin (hati) orang tua lo.

Saat lo sekolah, apakah lo mau berleha-leha atau mau jadi anak juara, yang ngerasain ilmunya adalah diri lo sendiri.
Saat lo bekerja, apakah lo mau berkeluh kesah atau mau bergelimangan harta, yang ngerasain duitnya adalah diri lo sendiri.
Saat lo menikah, apakah lo mau main gila atau mau jadi pasangan soleh/soleha, yang ngerasain ketenangan batinnya adalah diri lo sendiri.

Kadang kita seenaknya. Lupa kalau masih ada hak orang tua. Malahan sibuk menuntut hak kita. Sekolah, kerja, nikah, emang bukan perkara gampang.

Tapi ya itu. Kalau lagi lelah, kalau lagi kalah, kalau lagi gak inget untuk apa hidup di dunia.

Inget aja wajah orang tua kita. Inget rasanya jaman kecil kita pengen banget bahagiain mereka.

Inget aja kayak gitu kalau surga dan neraka terlalu jauh.

Inget aja orang tua.

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