Hard Pills to Swallow

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  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...
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Can't Afford Another Heart Breaks

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Gue lagi menunggu rekan perjalanan saat segerombolan anak berbaju Pramuka menginvasi Pizza Hut dan ngobrol riuh rendah.

Maaf kalau saya nguping. I find them fascinating.

'Gue lagi jerawatan gini, mana Jerry suka.' ujar suara pertama.
'Iya ih lo kenapa jadi jerawatan banget sih. Obatin dong.' terdengar suara berikutnya.
'Tadinya Jerry suka loh sama lo.'
'Tadinya??!' beberapa suara riuh bersamaan.

Lalu mentally gue menjawab, kalau cuma karena jerawat si Jerry gak jadi naksir cewek pertama, berarti Jerry gak layak diperjuangkan. Teorinya sih gitu. Tapi toh kebanyakan perempuan sibuk beresin mukanya biar dilirik lelaki.

Mungkin beberapa lelaki berpikir kalau ini perempuan gak bisa rawat mukanya sendiri, gimana nanti ngerawat yang lain?

Tapi lagi, perempuan kan bukan perawat.

Gerombolan anak Pramuka sekarang ganti topik ngebahas mata pelajaran. Mengeluhkan beberapa yang mereka sulit mengerti, beberapa yang gurunya gak masuk akal, dan beberapa yang kayaknya gampang banget.

Gue jadi inget omongan jaman gue SMA, kalau satu guru cuma ngajarin satu mata pelajaran, kenapa gak boleh satu murid cuma fokus di satu mata pelajaran? Tidak ada jawabannya.

Lalu si anak-anak Pramuka mengeluarkan beberapa majalah. Keduanya pernah gue tulisi. Humblebrag dikit, majalah-majalah gue yang dulu dan sekarang selalu leading magazine in their market.

Karena gak punya temen, jadi jawabin percakapan orang lain secara mental. Rekan perjalanan, cepatlah tiba.

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