Borrowed Sorrow

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  Growing up, I spent most of my time alone. I spent it reading, playing pretend, writing short stories, dancing, and exploring. Of course, I had a crew: a bunch of busybody teenagers exploring the infinite possibilities of our hometown. When puberty hit, I fell in love with the idea of falling in love, but not the actual relationship part. I mostly read about romance in teen magazines and already felt exhausted by the obligations society threw at girls. Back in my day, being sad was a trend. I was there when the first emo punk bands debuted on MTV. I was there when Avril swapped her skateboard for a tutu. But personally, I was happy. So, I borrowed sorrow from pop culture instead. I picked up my brother’s beat-up guitar and learned to play the most heart-numbing songs. I was an emo girl. The quiet kind you could only discover by reading my notes or scrolling through my playlist. I am a middle-aged woman now. What was once a borrowed sorrow has become the story of my life. Those c...
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Days in Jogja - The Sky Above The Fort

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Gue disarankan menyewa motor untuk keliling Jogja. Despite gue gak punya SIM, gue gak tau jalan juga. Ditambah lagi keluar Malioboro langsung macet gitu, huh, makasih deh. Sepanjang bisa ditempuh dengan kaki, gue bakal jalan kaki! Begitulah, check out dari penginapan jam 6.30, gue makan gudeg telor untuk mengganjal perut. Diteruskan menyambangi Benteng Vredeburg yang kemarin gak sempet dilihat karena udah tutup. Pagi itu gue jadi pelanggan pertama yang beli tiket. Nggak ada guide, gue cuma dikasih unjuk ruangan diorama 1 & diorama 2. Saat ini museun sedang dalam perbaikan dan karenanya banyak ruang pertunjukkan ditutup untuk umum. Bahkan di diorama 1&2 nggak ada ACnya. Lama gue terpaku di depan tiap diorama, ada perasaan bergetar dan bangga mengingat sejarah kemerdekaan bangsa. Ada sesuatu yang hangat dan syahdu, gue selalu suka sejarah terbentuknya NKRI. Jaman SMP dulu, gue bahkan sempat bertanya pada guru: 'akankah Soedirman jadi presiden jika ia tidak meninggal karena malaria?' tidak ada jawabannya.