Borrowed Sorrow

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  Growing up, I spent most of my time alone. I spent it reading, playing pretend, writing short stories, dancing, and exploring. Of course, I had a crew: a bunch of busybody teenagers exploring the infinite possibilities of our hometown. When puberty hit, I fell in love with the idea of falling in love, but not the actual relationship part. I mostly read about romance in teen magazines and already felt exhausted by the obligations society threw at girls. Back in my day, being sad was a trend. I was there when the first emo punk bands debuted on MTV. I was there when Avril swapped her skateboard for a tutu. But personally, I was happy. So, I borrowed sorrow from pop culture instead. I picked up my brother’s beat-up guitar and learned to play the most heart-numbing songs. I was an emo girl. The quiet kind you could only discover by reading my notes or scrolling through my playlist. I am a middle-aged woman now. What was once a borrowed sorrow has become the story of my life. Those c...
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Suatu hari temen gue bilang, 'shin, si mas itu pas wisuda duduk depan gue loh'; 'shin, pas jgtc gue papasan sama mas itu lagi payungan bareng cewek'. objek yang dibahas di sini adalah mantan pacar.
Waktu itu belum ada facebook apalagi twitter path dan line. Karena sempat sharing password friendster akhirnya gue gak mengupdate socmed itu lagi. Gue berusaha menahan diri nggak meng-update tentang orang ini. Tapi gimana dong kalau fakta bertubi-tubi disodorkan ke muka gue? waktu itu rasanya bitter sih.
Hari hari belakangan ini lepas dari majalah fashion remaja ternama di Jakarta, gue masih rutin disodorkan fakta terbaru tentang keadaan di dalam majalah itu. Sebagian bikin gue berkomentar 'i told you' atau 'hah? kayak kurang kerjaan aja' juga 'maksudnya baik, gue rasa'.
Gue selalu senang kok terima updatean baru tentang apa aja. Cuma karena gue move on kagak berarti gue shut the door kan?
Ketika suatu hari mas itu whatsapp gue akan kabar pernikahannya akhir taun lalu pun, gue santai santai aja.
Knowledge is power also curse. Tergantung bagaimana kita mendayagunakannya.
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