soliloquy of solitude

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PAD 28

on July 17, 2012

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Pad @ 28 Bar Bistro & Cafe Corner
Jl. Tulodong Atas 28 Senopati.

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Fresh Graduate Guide Into The Wild

Abis lulus terus ngapain? Jika kamu adalah sosok baru di kelas pekerja, saran saya adalah luangkan waktu untuk berselancar di mesin-mesin pencarian. Kamu mungkin membutuhkan arahan bagaimana menulis CV dan mengirimkan lamaran kerja dengan tepat. Kamu mungkin akan menemukan tips-tips yang tepat untuk membuat CVmu cemerlang dan body email yang eksentrik sehingga recruiter melirik. Senior bisa sok galak begini Namun bukan itu yang hendak saya bagikan. Setelah cukup lama menjadi buruh bulanan, saya semakin merasa bermusuhan dengan fresh graduate. Saya tidak akan menyematkan kata millenials karena mungkin saya adalah bagian dari itu. Jadi, ini adalah sekelebat uneg-uneg hasil menghadapi fresh graduate (dan anak magang) beberapa tahun terakhir. Banyak nanya, bukan sering nanya. Kamu tau kakak-kakak di perkantoran itu udah stres dengan kerjaan mereka yang kok nggak selesai dan selalu ada revisi. Bayangin saat kamu lagi sibuk-sibuknya, terus ada temen yang nanya. Karena

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You know the story. A boy met girl, chased her, loved her, ignored her, and they broke up. I've been in that same old story, but always failed to see when did it went wrong. Was that I was that him, was that the timing or we're actually just playing. I never knew until now. The last time he called was to invite me to his wedding, 5 years after I weeping over him for chasing me for no reason, and leaving me when I was madly in love with him. I wasn't ready. I was only twenty. I never am the pretty girl, but boys frequently asking me out. Even I wear my heart on my sleeve, I knew we're only flirting. Whoever falls in love first, lose. Love is addictive. Lovers fail to aware that they've become a junkie. Sometimes it never the person, it was the chemistry in your brain telling your body to crave for your partner. That's when you need a fix. Until one of them decides they wanna quit. You'd think the one who calls it quit wasn't hurt, but they di

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I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti

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