Hard Pills to Swallow

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  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...
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lluvia #9

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Hari ini, hati gadis itu terluka lagi. Ah, bukan. Lukanya membuka lagi. Karena ia menaruh hati di tangan lelaki itu. Membiarkan kebahagiaannya tertoreh dengan ijin si lelaki.

Ada seorang pemuda, yang lama telah menatap kepada gadis itu. Pemuda yang kembali ditemuinya setelah berbilang tahun. Namun si gadis tidak memiliki hati untuk diserahkan pada si pemuda.

Sementara lelaki itu, mungkin, menatap penuh rasa geli, kenapa gadis ini tak tau waktu untuk berhenti? Lupakah ia bahwa hujan akan membuatnya sakit hingga nyaris mati?

Hari ini senyuman tersembunyi dari bibir si gadis. Hatinya sedih, pilu bagai tersayat sembilu. Tak ada lagi bayangan sang lelaki tiap ia memejamkan mata.

Hujan telah berhenti. Menyisakan suram dan tanah berlumpur. Si gadis belum lagi sadar, hatinya tak mampu berlari, walau sang lelaki telah lama pergi.

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