Hard Pills to Swallow

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  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...
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lluvia #8

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Kamu, lihat kah hujan turun tiada henti?
Menderu, menghantam daratan dengan jutaan ribu butiran air.
Kamu mungkin takkan percaya. Atau malah mencemooh.
But it's always rain whenever I'm sad.
Saya, katanya nggak bisa menangis. Rasanya bodoh menangis karena kamu.
Karena itu, hujan mencurahkan dirinya, menemani saya dan sekotak susu strawberry.
Kamu, adakah kiranya saya pernah terlintas dalam benak mu kala hujan turun?
Sungguh, ketika hujan turun, ketika itulah saya menangis meratapimu. Merinduimu. Menyesalimu. Mencintaimu.

Kamu dan rasa cinta saya, luruhlah dalam hujan.
Lenyaplah tanpa sisa.

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