Read This When You Want To Give Up

 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti

How are u, Brother Grimm

I don't know with u, guys. Saya sendiri tumbuh besar dengan kisah-kisah Grimm Bersaudara. Hansel n Gretel, Snow White, Rapunzel? Yes, mereka bukan buatan Walt Disney. Versi aslinya, ditulis oleh dua bersaudara keturunan Slovakia, German.

Remember that Disney verse of those story always end with: happily ever after, stuff? Yeah, begitu fairy tales seharusnya, kan? Nah, gue baru aja baca versi super asli dari ketiga cerita itu.

Super asli? Yes, ternyata nih, buku yang gue punya jaman kecil dulu, udah diacak-acak sama editor, supaya sesuai dengan 'nilai moral'. Supaya banyak referensi, gue pun mulai klik sana dan klik sini. Hasilnya, mengejutkan!

Dalam versi super asli cerita Hansel n Gretel, ibu jahat yang hendak membuang mereka ternyata bukan ibu tiri, melainkan ibu kandung! Terlebih lagi, ayah baik hati yang sedikit bodoh, ternyata sadar sepenuhnya dan ikut mendukung rencana si istri. Poor Hansel n Gretel. Begitupun di cerita Snow White. Ratu jahat yang memerintahkan agar Snow White dibunuh, ternyata ibu kandung dari Snow White.

Khawatir dengan kontroversi dalam cerita ini, beberapa penerbit pun campur tangan 'menghaluskan' karakter si ibu kandung. Ayolah, mana ada sih, ibu kandung yang tega menjahati anak sendiri? Demikian argumen mereka.

Kisah Rapunzel lebih lucu lagi. Dalam versi yang gue punya, Rapunzel nggak sengaja keceplosan dan bilang ke nenek penyihir yang lagi manjat pake rambut dia: 'nenek, lambat banget manjatnya, nggak kayak pangeran'. Nah, di versi super asli, yang bikin Rapunzel ketauan kalau dia sering ditengok pangeran adalah pengakuan lugu dari Rapunzel. Dia bilang: 'kenapa semakin lama baju ku semakin sempit di sekitar perut?'
Guess what, sodara-sodara, Rapunzel hamil!! Hehehe, karena dianggap nggak sesuai moral setempat saat itu, bagian ini dimodifikasi.

Suddenly, suddenly, gue kepikiran. Kabarnya, sejarah bangsa terutama kasus G30S/PKI, banyak yang dimodifikasi. Begitu juga dengan drama proklamasi Indonesia. Penasaran deh, mau korek-korek lebih dalam tentang itu. Mungkin, gue bakal semedi beberapa saat di tumpukan buku penuh debu.

Comments