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  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...

Birthday Boy

Last night, this boy pick me up from office and take me to dinner. Then, we went to my home. The story ends here. I thought.

Pagi ini, encing-encing (betawi's way to call aunties) lagi ngerubutin tukang sayur. Ini biasa. Sampai gue keluar rumah dan mereka manggil gue.

'Shin, yang semalem, pacar?' Tanya encing pertama.
'Beda lagi sama yang kemaren dateng?' Ujar encing kedua.

Gue cuma nyengir. 'Bukan pacar.' Jawab gue. 'Yang kemarinan juga bukan pacar.' Gue tambahin lagi. Harusnya encing-encing tau gue gak mau memperpanjang pembicaraan ini. But, they keep talking.

What happen with private life people? Yeah, once I read this in some books: in small neighbourhood, ur business is everyone business. Konsep yang aneh.

I life in secrecy. U don't need to know, I don't want u to know. Why don't u stay with ur business and give no fuck about mine?

Anw, happy birthday. Wish u get much fun in ur life.

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