Read This When You Want To Give Up

 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti

Porto! 20


Maaf kalau 2PM things ini memenuhi front stage saya. Gimana pun, yang namanya fans pasti gak mau ketinggalan segala sesuatu tentang idolanya kan? Termasuk bikin karya tentang idola mereka. Kebetulan gue seorang juru berita, maka bikinin berita tentang 2PM jadi kebanggaan buat gue. Jujur sih, gue nggak mau mereka tambah terkenal, karena itu berarti gue nambah saingan abg-abg berbadan sehat. Tapiiii, seneng juga kalau idola gue diakui orang-orang sedunia.
Intinya nih, jangan ngomong jelek soal 2PM di depan gue kalau nggak mau gue tonjok. Seriusan loh, gue sempet ngancem seorang cowok yang terus-terus bilang 2PM gay, sort of, lah. Fuck. Kalau lo bisa ngedance sejago mereka, punya talent sehebat mereka, punya tampang se-cute mereka, dan punya kelakuan gentleman kayak Taec, baru lo boleh ngasih kritik. Ingat, kritik, bukan cercaan. Kalau lo gendut, gak bisa dance, gak bisa nyanyi, tampang juga cuma emak sama pacar lo yang bilang ganteng, gak usah deh ngomong bad things soal 2PM.
Waduh, jadi serius. Hahaha, terserah sih mau bilang apa aja soal siapa aja. Gue cuma ngasih tau, gak usah ngomong jelek soal 2PM di depan gue!
teks dan foto: Shinta
for Aplaus Medan printed version. click on Aplaus the Lifestyle for more info.

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