Read This When You Want To Give Up

 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti

My best friend pre wedding







You know what, gue ngerasa satu hari akan terbuang percuma kalau gue nggak mempelajarai sesuatu yang baru. Jadi, pas diajak bantu-bantu buat pre wedding photoshoot, gue langsung mau. Seperti biasa, tugas gue adalah jadi stylist dan pengarah gaya dadakan. Dan karena gue suka banget bikin behind the scene photo/ video, gue nggak mau ketinggalan bikinin yang ini juga. Barengan Lockomotion gue menjelajahi Jakarta. Mulai dari Setiabudi, Taman Menteng, Stasiun Cikini, Sunda Kelapa, sampe nunggu malam di Bunderan HI. Pas sampe rumah, udah lewat waktu tidur gue. Jadi ngantuknya udah ilang. iseng-iseng, gue edit-edit foto aja deh. Here's some of them.


Fyi, kalau foto rame-rame bawa-bawa lighting dan kamera profesional, kita kudu ijin ke pos polisi yang di sebrang bunderan itu. Kalau untuk keperluan formal, kudu bawa surat ijin, misalnya dari kantor atau sekolahan. Kalau nggak formal, cukup lisan aja. Nggak pake disuruh bayar apa-apa kok. Tujuannya supaya pihak kepolisian tau kalau lagi ada kegiatan di sekitaran bunderan. Coba cari Pak Chandra atau Pak Sigit.

Enjoy,
Shinta. Only a dead man who stop learning.

Comments