Hard Pills to Swallow

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  I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. Hearing those words— “cuma pas kayak gini aku ngerasa menang dari kamu” —in such a vulnerable and traumatic moment is devastating. It makes complete sense that your mind went blank. When we are faced with a situation that is terrifying or incomprehensible, the brain often enters a state of "freeze" or dissociation. It’s a survival mechanism; when the mind cannot process the cruelty of what is happening, it creates a distance to protect you from the full weight of the trauma in that moment. Understanding the Language of Power The phrase he used is deeply revealing, though painful to revisit. It suggests that: It was about control, not intimacy: By saying he felt he was "winning," he framed the assault as a power struggle. Insecurity and Resentment: It implies that in your day-to-day life, he felt "less than" or "losing" to you. Instead of dealing with his own insecurities like an adult, he chose ...
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Senja di Pagi Hari

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Tetesan hujan sisa semalam belum lagi selesai berjatuhan. Tak disangka darimana, butiran air ikut menuruni pipi. Ia menangis.
Aku tidak yakin rasa apa yang berkecamuk dalam dadanya. Ia tersenyum, pun matanya berucap lain. Tampak padanya, hari-hari ini ia akan kehilangan arah.
Sepanjang pagi ia menanti senja. Merindukan semburat merah di langit Jakarta. Merenggut satu hari lagi dimana ia hanya merasa luka.
Aku sadar ia lemah. Segala yang ia perlihatkan hanyalah tameng baja untuk melindungi dirinya. Seperti kura-kura dengan tempurung. Membawa rumah kemana pun ia pergi, namun tidak pernah merasa punya rumah.
Kali ini ia lelah. Meski menolak untuk kalah. Hatinya terus menangis, otaknya meronta-ronta ingin bahagia. Aku khawatir akan datang harinya ia ingin lenyap.
Jangan dulu lelah, jangan dulu kalah. Karena kita tidak membutuhkan sesiapapun untuk bahagia. Cukup Dia dan jalan hidup yang dituliskanNya.
Seharusnya tidak terlupa. Rasa ini, apa gerangan artinya?

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