Midnight Doctor 4.0

'Hey doc, am i broken? I've cry a lot.'
'No, you're not. This is the other phase of your bi. You feeling tired, tears keep coming, and the thought, it's back, isnt?'
'Yes. Doc, why am i like this? Am i eat something wrong? Am i being cursed?'
'Dear, Shin. Dont look down on yourself. You're a lovely, cheerfull person. What you've got is temporary. And we both know you're tough.'
'I've been like this for ages. Im tired. One time i spend too much money, chasing some guys, another time im tired, cry whenever i awake, even imagine to cut my vein.'
'If only you want to take medicine...'
'Never. I dont trust it. What i have cant be solve with any drugs. It's a whole me is wrong. And the only medicine is that i have to vanish.'
'Shin! You change nothing with vanishing.'
'But one thing for sure, doc. I cant get hurt if im not exist.
'Doc, if i ended up cut my vein, would God forgive me? If turns out im not tough enough to live life, would God understand?'
'Shin, you're unwell. Please take your medicine and rest a bit. I promise you, you'll be alright.'
'I dont need medicine, doc. I dont wanna lose my control. Medicine will make me fall a sleep.'
This time, i talk a lot. I cant even remember what im talking about. That doctor gives me something and i feel misty clouding in my head.