Read This When You Want To Give Up

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 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti
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Mid day at MidTown Owl

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Gue selalu menyesali keputusan nggak bawa kamera. Karena gue nggak pernah mengira akan duduk-duduk nikmat di sebuah restoran cantik di tengah gedung-gedung tinggi Central Park. Sekali lagi, tanpa rencana. Hari ini gue emang harus bertemu dengan sosok inspiratif lainnya dan kebetulan beliau rela ngebayarin gue sarapan.
foto: xhottypottyx.blogspot.com
Tapi, kalau lo pencinta nachos seperti halnya gue, lebih baik jangan pesan nachos di sini. Sedangkan orange squash dan mocha milkshake-nya wajib dicoba. Menu sarapan juga pas di perut. Lalu seperti semua tempat makan di Jakarta, kita bisa membeli suasana yang nggak bisa kita dapatkan di rumah. Atau kantor. Kabarnya, kalau malam tempat ini lebih rame. Yang pasti gue suka ruangan dengan banyak jendela kaca. Hemat biaya lampu dan nggak membuat gue merasa klaustrafobia.

Playlistnya menggetarkan hati. Dari Coldplay ke John Mayer. Deretan boyband 90-an. Sekarang bahkan memutar Matchbox Twenty. I definitely will coming back. Seriusan, pilihan lagu di sini oke banget. Saking okenya, bahkan membuat gue memutuskan untuk menelepon si manusia super. Cuma untuk mendengar jawaban 'mmm', 'heeh', 'iya', 'ngga'. Bukannya gue nggak menduga itu.

Udah lama nggak nemu restoran yang bikin gue betah berlama-lama. Mungkin lain kali gue akan kembali ditemani kamera. Meskipun, makanan nggak memuaskan hasrast gue. melainkan atmosfer yang ditawarkan Midtown Owl.

Sebrang Lobby Royal Mediterania Garden (Central Park,Jakarta Barat)
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