Read This When You Want To Give Up

 I keep listing the reasons why I can't kill myself. And each day it gets shorter. Still, I live. Liking my job, taking care of others, set goals, and actually achieved it. All while still wanna die. So I try to understand, what's exactly in my brain. What's I'm looking for. What's the drive that gets me up every morning. Why I'm in constant pain. Maybe I'm just dramatic, a little bit melancholy. I know what I want is for the pain to stop. And I need to know where the bleeding is to stop it. What and who hurts me. Or No matter what and who, when and how, I need to accept and forgive. Forgive that I can't change the past, I can't change people. Accept that I only can control myself. To tough up and not let it hurts. Maybe this is not about me. Maybe the what and the who weren't aware that they hurt me. It's like a circle. While they tried to protect themselves, they unintentionally hurt others. The fact that I wanna die since 4th grade and sti

Why don't u tweet me?

Kadang, gue nerima email galau macam ini dan mencoba bijak dalam menyikapinya. But yes, ini cuma opini gue, nggak mewakili apapun atau siapapun kecuali otak gue. Sori, nama disamarkan yah.

Question:
hai aku anggi, aku lagi ada masalah. aku suka cemburu sama cowo aku kalau on twitter pasti dia mention sama cewe semua padahal sebelumnya aku udah pernah bilang sama dia kalau aku gasuka dia terlalu deket sama cewe lain,dia sempet ga berhubungan sama cewe-cewe itu tapi akhir-akhir ini dia berhubungan lagi . gimana yaa caranya biar aku sama dia ga ribut terus gara-gara masalah ini?

I say:
Hi Anggi. Common question, dia mention2annya gimana? Apa terkesan flirting? Tebar pesona? Kalau nggak, let him.
Kamu udah bener banget dengan ngasih tau dia perasaan kamu soal mention2an itu. Tapi, I know for sure, for some boys it don't make sense. Kenapa cemburu sama interaksi di social media? I'm ur boyfie, don't u believe me? Sort of lah. Boys will always be boys.
Jadi, sebelum ngabisin energi buat cemburu, perhatikan ini dulu:
1. Konten yg dibahas dlm tweet itu. Bisa dong bedain yang mana mesra, centil, dan becanda?
2. Dia melakukannya ke semua cewe, atau satu-dua cewe secara konstan.
Kalau ke semua cewe, bisa jadi dia emang ramah dan tukang rumpi. Tapi kalau konstan ke satu cewe, I think u deserve to ask him.
3. Sekali lagi, bilang ke dia, kalau mention itu bikin kamu cemburu. Jangan blg: 'aku nggak suka deh kamu mention dia'. Tapi blg langsung aja perasaan kamu.
When people in relationship, they wanna be happy. Re u happy right now? If u re, those little thing won't bother u. And if ur bf happy, he won't flirting around.
Ask me anytime.

Gue pernah baca, entah dimana, kalau teknologi itu pedang bermata dua. Saat lo nggak hati-hati saat menggunakannya, bisa-bisa nebas kaki sendiri.
Kalau aja bisa, gue pengen tetap hidup cuma dengan surat, telegram dan fixed phone. Namun karena tuntutan kehidupan, gue nenteng-nenteng 2-3 ponsel tiap hari. Cuma untuk memastikan jadwal hari ini berjalan lancar.

Ngomong-ngomong soal socmed, gue baru aja ngeaktifin lagi twitter dan facebook gue. Tapi gue nggak nge-install aplikasi socmed itu di smartphone gue. So, sorry for late reply. Lagian, gue udah ngerasain enaknya nggak pake dua socmed itu. Nggak kudu pake pencitraan, nggak kudu sedih liat status cowok yang gue suka. Nggak harus bilang fuck tiap kali baca timeline atau newsfeed.
Asiknya nggak punya socmed, orang-orang kembali menelepon dan sms gue saat ada perlu. Gak kudu repot meriksa beragam socmed dan email to keep in touch.

Stay in touch, fellas
Shinta, I am gadget freak, actually.

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